


DerBear

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Magical Healing Cock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>idk   i wrote this forever ago and just found it again and needed to show this beautiful brain fart to the world</p>
    </blockquote>





	DerBear

**Author's Note:**

> idk i wrote this forever ago and just found it again and needed to show this beautiful brain fart to the world

Derek was a sexy beast.   He owned an awesome leather jacket.  He was a total badass except for the fact that the new deputy in town made him blush like a school girl.  This was made all the worse when he was arrested and handcuffed to the bench right across from the cutie he had been stalking from a distance.  Derek was an A+ stalker.   He spent a lot of time practicing on teenagers.  They were easy to spook.

Derek Hale stared at the deputy from under righteous brows.  The name on his name tag said Parrish.  That sounded like a tasty fruit.  Derek sure hoped this guy was a tasty fruit.

“Need something?” came the angel’s voice.

“No.”  Derek eloquently grunted back.  Chris Argent elbowed him in the side chiding him to “play nice.”

“What do you want me to do?  Ask him on a brunch date?”  Derek sneered while his heart fluttered in his chest at the thought.

“Just might be a smart idea not to piss off the people who are in charge of sending you to jail or not.”  Who did Argent think he was?  Like a mature adult Derek stomped on his foot.

Deputy Hotass got up and bent down while he wrangled with the handcuffs muttering about it being a good idea to separate the two.  Derek didn’t quite catch it though because he was focused on Parrish’s forearms brushing up against his thigh.  He’d stomp on Chris any day if this was the result.  Granted he’d enjoy stomping on Chris any day regardless of the outcome.  Stupid Argents.

Now alone on the bench, he waited eons for the deputy to return to his desk so he could resume his very intense gazing at the man.  But when he did return, he returned with words, “So you’re Derek Hale?  You kind of have a reputation around here.”

Derek’s eyebrows went up.

Parrish chuckled the most adorable chuckle Derek ever heard.  “Don’t worry; I can make my own judgments.”

Derek’s eyebrows went up further.

“What?”  The officer asked.

Okay.  This was it.  The wolfman was pumping himself up to ask the guy out.  He was just deciding on the coolest line to use when the Sheriff stormed through the doors.

“Parrish, get your gear we’re heading to the school.” 

Derek’s eyebrows went up even further.  They flew off of his face.

 

 

Derek didn’t see the deputy again until after the police station blew.  His back and arms where still numb with the pain of the shrapnel and burns and his ears were ringing.  But all in all it wasn’t the worst he’s ever had.  Peter stabbed in through the chest, Deucalion stabbed him through the chest, overall just a lot of chest stabbing in his life.  The universe wanted to kill him.

“Hale?  How are you doing, the ambulance is on its way.”  And just like that Derek’s world of doom and gloom went to sunshine and rainbows.  Or more like rainbows in the doom.  Then the words registered rather than just the voice.  Well that could be a problem.  He didn’t need doctors watching his wounds heal themselves before their eyes.  So that he could inevitably be wounded again.

“Don’t need one. I’m fine.”

Parrish put his hands gentle on his shoulders forcing to take a seat on the bench.  “No, you’re not.”

If only he could heal faster.  Derek remembered that last time he had sex and how he healed almost instantaneously, of course his girlfriend was a serial killer, which believe it or not was actually not his first serial killer girlfriend.  Derek just had that kind of luck.

“Deputy Parrish, I need you to do me a favor.”

“What do you need?”  The Deputy always tried to be amicable to people especially when they were bleeding.

“I need your magical healing cock.”

“What?”

“I do.”

“What?”

“Please, just put it in me.”

“What?”

“I think I broke him.”  Derek muttered to himself.  What did his love interests never work out?


End file.
